Heartbreak Is The National Anthem

As a child, heartbreak was a foggy subject. All I knew was hopscotch and chocolate milk. My eleven year old brain only allowed me knowledge that heartbreak was desolating and it only occurred when one person in a relationship leaves the other because of hatred. The idea of the cause and effect of heartbreak tainted me like wine-stained dress. Years and years went by and the stain reminded me that "as long as you stay away from love you'll be fine." Little did I know, my naive eleven year old brain misguided me; I thought staying away from love and boys will reduce heartbreak but it didn't because best friends break hearts too.

People think that heart break involves you and your significant other but no, it involves friends too. Heartbreak does not have to do with "love", it has to do with a person you entitled trust to, destroying it and afflicting pain into your soul. Your heart is in agony and you seem to dwell on it for a period of time.

The majority of songs and movies are about love and heartbreaks. But why do we seem so proud about it? Why do we sing about it so proudly? The worst type of heartbreak are the ones dealing with friendship. Would you expect your best friend, your dearest friend to turn against you?


Thirteen going on fourteen, I was about to start my high school career knowing absolutely no one. I was home-schooled through my middle school years, meaning the closest thing to a best friend that I ever had was my computer. I stereo-typically knew that the seniors put freshmen in the dumpsters and by then everyone was a part of a clique. Luckily for me, I a girl on the same sports team and we quickly grew closer. Time passed, it was safe to say that we were best friends. We knew everything and anything about each other. Coincidentally, our parents knew each other. We were the "perfect pair" people called us.

Finally..... senior year; she and I were practically sisters. I just knew she was my best friend, I could tell her anything. I always known that best friends go through thick and thin together and now that is really what I wanted to believe.

I got my first boyfriend senior year and I spent less time with her but I still made endeavors to make time for her. Slowly but surely, her comments got more and more ruthless and hurtful. How can you tell you best friend that after you started hanging out with that more people started hating you. I keep telling myself that it is my fault too. She couldn't handle sharing me is what I like till this day to believe. My boyfriend at the time liked to joke that I was all his when we were all together. It got to the point that she couldn't take it anymore. I really didn't know how to deal this situation, it was all new to me. Weeks passed with minimal conversations and the word is out she is basically telling people that my boyfriend was an "a**hole." He was new to the school so  I was enraged by this, everything I did at that moment was out of a fit of passion. She wanted to make him have no friends, I thought. Impulsively and irresponsibly, I confronted her through text; the argument got heated to the point where what we said cannot be unsaid or deleted. After this, it really hit me. She was gone and words could not be retracted. I comforted myself saying " It's alright, not being her friend won't stop me from pursuing my dreams"

A brief time passed, my boyfriend and I did not work out. I decided to talk to my ex-best friend because every time I saw her she had tense eyes and I felt discomfort. I reflected on my friendship with her and felt guilt and disappointment in myself. I arranged a time with her to talk things out. I maturely apologized on my behalf and I asked if we can go back to normal. Not normal like spilling everything to each other but like being friendly again. Since, I listed and apologized for the things I've done, I waited to see what she had to say. She told me that I couldn't really hang out with her because she found new people and that she didn't feel comfortable of putting me into the group. I was really surprised, she did not even apologize for one thing she had ever done to me even though I did and she felt that everything was my fault. I held onto my thoughts and feelings and let her blame me. It wasn't worth it to argue about the things she did to me.

For a good month, I felt lonely like happiness was stolen from me. I was heartbroken and sad that she only wanted to be friends through the good times and not through the bad. She found new friends and we cannot go back to normal. I was pretty isolated for awhile but comfort filled me knowing I did apologize for my mistakes. I'm living now owing no one, I'm finally FREE! I got back on my feet and soon enough, I've got my very own friends to spend time with.  But hey, that's what make us humans. There isn't a really definite answer as to what makes us human. Each person has their own opinion and mine is humans makes mistakes, we forgive, and we eventually evolve into something else. It is what it is, make the best of what you're given.

-Lilia